Thursday, October 26, 2006
Too Much Information?
Mysecret.tv’s Craig Groeschel on the risks and rewards of pastoral transparency.
Craig Groeschel has no secrets ... well, maybe a few. Groeschel founded LifeChurch.tv in Edmond, Oklahoma in 1996 as one of the nation's first multi-campus churches. Today the ministry offers 40 weekly worship experiences at nine different locations. But, whereas many pastors of large churches become more secretive and inaccessible with success, Groeschel decided to reverse this trend (at least for himself) with his jarringly transparent Confessions of a Pastor.
A gifted and creative communicator, Groeschel bares his soul about personal and professional challenges. A mixture of Groeschel's confessions serve as the chapter headings of his book. Among his confessions: "I can't stand a lot of Christians," "I hate prayer meetings," "I worry almost all the time," and "Sometimes I doubt God."
We caught up with Groeschel amid a hectic schedule of media appearances related to mysecret.tv, a confessional Web site LifeChurch.tv launched in the summer.
Ministry Today: You write about being mentored by someone who advocated sustaining the "pastor's mystique." Isn't there something to be said for not airing all your issues lest your people lose respect for your calling?
Groeschel: Absolutely. You can share too much. One pastor confessed to his church his struggle with lust. In a sermon he actually told his listeners that he might even be having lustful thoughts about some of them at that very moment. Too much information! Church members need to see pastors as real people, struggling to surrender daily to Christ. By all means take risks, but take calculated ones. Ask yourself what your motivation is to share. Are you being selfish (for example, you want to relieve yourself of loneliness or guilt)? Or is what you're saying spiritually useful to those you serve?
Ministry Today: So, what are some of the practical implications of this?
Groeschel: I know many pastors who encourage small groups in their churches yet don't participate themselves. But Jesus spent "down-time" with the very people He was leading. Genuine relationships don't happen without transparency. And transparency means risk. I'm not recommending that pastors should be saying everything we're thinking (if I did that, I'd probably lose my job). But without pouring our hearts into one another, we isolate ourselves and dry up spiritually. And we can end up on the slippery slope toward hypocrisy.
Ministry Today: Ministry seems to naturally cultivate the tendency toward inauthenticity. So, how do you "keep it real"—in spite of what your congregation may think?
Groeschel: No matter what I do, some people (maybe a lot of people) won't like me. For too many years, I lived to please people and meet their expectations, which of course is impossible. My goal—one I don't always achieve, by the way—is to be who God created me to be. Anything less is hypocrisy and compromises the integrity of my ministry.
Ministry Today: Can feelings of inadequacy actually enhance ministry?
Groeschel: I don't know any pastor (especially me) who is an adequate leader for our pastoral role. That's why we need to learn to depend completely on God. Fears of inadequacy are normal. Talking about them openly, with deliberate intention, can be powerful. I regularly confess to our church that I get nervous before I speak, and that I feel completely inadequate to do this job. That humanizes me, both to them and to myself. I've experienced other times when I didn't know if I could continue in ministry. This wasn't something I talked about while preaching. It would've been too much for the average church member to bear. Although we should invite people to know us as real people following Christ, we should also consciously avoid undermining their confidence in our ability to lead them to Him.
Ministry Today: You mention the importance of a personal accountability partner.
Groeschel: My accountability partner is someone I knew before I was deeply engaged in public ministry. This has been helpful because he knows me as regular Craig, not Pastor Craig. To me, finding a true accountability partner ranks close to finding your spouse. It's a prayerful, intentional pursuit of a lifelong friendship, whose ongoing purpose is to make you more like Jesus. It's not a breakfast with three other people shooting the breeze. It's gut-level, here's-where-I-am, not-holding-anything-back transparency. It may be scary, but I've discovered that, for me, it's a matter of survival.
Ministry Today: What about the pitfalls of baring your soul to someone other than your spouse?
Groeschel: It is risky to bare your soul to someone besides your spouse—especially for a pastor. However, in my opinion, the dangers of isolating yourself, carrying your own burdens and secrets, are far greater. Honestly, I didn't bare my soul in the early stages of my accountability friendship. In the past I had been significantly betrayed by someone I trusted completely. That experience inclined me never to trust again. Thankfully, I eventually overcame that pain and reached out again.
Ministry Today: Mysecret.tv has gotten a lot of media attention. But some questioned the benefit of anonymous confesssion.
Groeschel: Our intention has always been to encourage visitors to mysecret.tv to approach others' confessions prayerfully, not use them as a voyeuristic experience. Also, we've never suggested that confessing anonymously to a computer has special powers. Directing our confessions into a prayer toward God and His people is what changes lives. But think how many never go there. For them, writing a private confession for millions to read can be a first step—a huge one, as it turns out—and one they might never otherwise take.
Craig Groeschel has no secrets ... well, maybe a few. Groeschel founded LifeChurch.tv in Edmond, Oklahoma in 1996 as one of the nation's first multi-campus churches. Today the ministry offers 40 weekly worship experiences at nine different locations. But, whereas many pastors of large churches become more secretive and inaccessible with success, Groeschel decided to reverse this trend (at least for himself) with his jarringly transparent Confessions of a Pastor.
A gifted and creative communicator, Groeschel bares his soul about personal and professional challenges. A mixture of Groeschel's confessions serve as the chapter headings of his book. Among his confessions: "I can't stand a lot of Christians," "I hate prayer meetings," "I worry almost all the time," and "Sometimes I doubt God."
We caught up with Groeschel amid a hectic schedule of media appearances related to mysecret.tv, a confessional Web site LifeChurch.tv launched in the summer.
Ministry Today: You write about being mentored by someone who advocated sustaining the "pastor's mystique." Isn't there something to be said for not airing all your issues lest your people lose respect for your calling?
Groeschel: Absolutely. You can share too much. One pastor confessed to his church his struggle with lust. In a sermon he actually told his listeners that he might even be having lustful thoughts about some of them at that very moment. Too much information! Church members need to see pastors as real people, struggling to surrender daily to Christ. By all means take risks, but take calculated ones. Ask yourself what your motivation is to share. Are you being selfish (for example, you want to relieve yourself of loneliness or guilt)? Or is what you're saying spiritually useful to those you serve?
Ministry Today: So, what are some of the practical implications of this?
Groeschel: I know many pastors who encourage small groups in their churches yet don't participate themselves. But Jesus spent "down-time" with the very people He was leading. Genuine relationships don't happen without transparency. And transparency means risk. I'm not recommending that pastors should be saying everything we're thinking (if I did that, I'd probably lose my job). But without pouring our hearts into one another, we isolate ourselves and dry up spiritually. And we can end up on the slippery slope toward hypocrisy.
Ministry Today: Ministry seems to naturally cultivate the tendency toward inauthenticity. So, how do you "keep it real"—in spite of what your congregation may think?
Groeschel: No matter what I do, some people (maybe a lot of people) won't like me. For too many years, I lived to please people and meet their expectations, which of course is impossible. My goal—one I don't always achieve, by the way—is to be who God created me to be. Anything less is hypocrisy and compromises the integrity of my ministry.
Ministry Today: Can feelings of inadequacy actually enhance ministry?
Groeschel: I don't know any pastor (especially me) who is an adequate leader for our pastoral role. That's why we need to learn to depend completely on God. Fears of inadequacy are normal. Talking about them openly, with deliberate intention, can be powerful. I regularly confess to our church that I get nervous before I speak, and that I feel completely inadequate to do this job. That humanizes me, both to them and to myself. I've experienced other times when I didn't know if I could continue in ministry. This wasn't something I talked about while preaching. It would've been too much for the average church member to bear. Although we should invite people to know us as real people following Christ, we should also consciously avoid undermining their confidence in our ability to lead them to Him.
Ministry Today: You mention the importance of a personal accountability partner.
Groeschel: My accountability partner is someone I knew before I was deeply engaged in public ministry. This has been helpful because he knows me as regular Craig, not Pastor Craig. To me, finding a true accountability partner ranks close to finding your spouse. It's a prayerful, intentional pursuit of a lifelong friendship, whose ongoing purpose is to make you more like Jesus. It's not a breakfast with three other people shooting the breeze. It's gut-level, here's-where-I-am, not-holding-anything-back transparency. It may be scary, but I've discovered that, for me, it's a matter of survival.
Ministry Today: What about the pitfalls of baring your soul to someone other than your spouse?
Groeschel: It is risky to bare your soul to someone besides your spouse—especially for a pastor. However, in my opinion, the dangers of isolating yourself, carrying your own burdens and secrets, are far greater. Honestly, I didn't bare my soul in the early stages of my accountability friendship. In the past I had been significantly betrayed by someone I trusted completely. That experience inclined me never to trust again. Thankfully, I eventually overcame that pain and reached out again.
Ministry Today: Mysecret.tv has gotten a lot of media attention. But some questioned the benefit of anonymous confesssion.
Groeschel: Our intention has always been to encourage visitors to mysecret.tv to approach others' confessions prayerfully, not use them as a voyeuristic experience. Also, we've never suggested that confessing anonymously to a computer has special powers. Directing our confessions into a prayer toward God and His people is what changes lives. But think how many never go there. For them, writing a private confession for millions to read can be a first step—a huge one, as it turns out—and one they might never otherwise take.
- Interview by Sean Fowlds
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Awesome and Honest, enjoy every line of this interview full of balance and directness, and encouraging has a believer who have heard private confessions of people in ministry that had no one to trust, over prayer and healing and promoting their relationship with the Lord, I BELIEVE, this Man has heard from the Lord, THE BODY OF CHRIST, needs a place to dump their spots and blemishes.
This is an excellent article. I admire his humility and transparency, although I believe there is a limit of sharing too much information for the pastor's sake of respect. I hope this opens doors to many other leaders in sharing their testimonies and not holding back because of their 'title'. Sabra
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