Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Taking Potshots
Leaders draw criticism. It's in the very nature of our role. But as any pastor knows, the magnetism of unsolicited potshots for church leaders is astounding. We, apparently, are classified as open targets—take your shot, whether we asked for it or not. Politicians get reemed, as do celebrities. But I believe neither of those two types receive as much tell-it-to-my-face, jaw-dropping punches to the gut as a church leader.
"You know, your sermons need some help. I think people would pay more attention if you just told a few more jokes or stories or something."
"Why haven't you started a [FILL IN THE BLANK] ministry? The Lord sent me to tell you that this church needs to start it now or you'll miss out on His blessing."
"My old pastor would stop by our house every once in a while to pray with me. Why don't you? I thought compassion was supposed to be a spiritual gift of every pastor."
So what do we do with these voluntary "assessments"? How do we handle the caustic e-mails (both anonymous and named), raging voice mails and ranting rumors?
Wisdom says we don't listen to them. Seriously ... we tune them out. Now, I'm not talking about sticking our heads in the sand and never listening to a word our congregations say. Hopefully we're wise enough to surround ourselves with a circle of mentors and counselors from whom we can receive even the most blunt yet truthful words (Prov. 12:15). Yet there is a reason God established you as a leader and gave you a vision for leading His people. That fact should by no means prompt a degree of pride in you, but rather continue to send you to your knees in humility. Leaders are best positioned when reaching up for divine help on a moment-by-moment basis. Fortunately, part of that help comes in the form of godly human counsel.
But that still doesn't answer the question of what to do with the cheapshots, er, "suggestions." Last week I heard Ed Young of Fellowship Church talk about this at his C3 conference. He was as honest and upfront as I've seen a pastor be in leading other pastors, but he spoke from more than 17 years of experience in handling every type of criticism. Today I read a great blog from Perry Noble of NewSpring Church that (somewhat) dealt with the same thing. Both guys echoed a similar sentiment: Just walk away. Your time is too precious to waste debating the critics. As long as you stay in the appropriate leadership posture—humbly, prayerfully leading in the assurance of God's mission for you and the people—then you can ignore the naysayers and doubters. Critics will naturally be those with the loudest, sharpest voices. Yet even when they challenge you personally, you'd be better off realizing that there are more important things to do than fight back.
YOUR TURN: How have you dealt with harsh criticism within your church? What lessons have you learned over the years on how to handle your critics? Should leaders pay more attention to these unsolicited "assessments"?
"You know, your sermons need some help. I think people would pay more attention if you just told a few more jokes or stories or something."
"Why haven't you started a [FILL IN THE BLANK] ministry? The Lord sent me to tell you that this church needs to start it now or you'll miss out on His blessing."
"My old pastor would stop by our house every once in a while to pray with me. Why don't you? I thought compassion was supposed to be a spiritual gift of every pastor."
So what do we do with these voluntary "assessments"? How do we handle the caustic e-mails (both anonymous and named), raging voice mails and ranting rumors?
Wisdom says we don't listen to them. Seriously ... we tune them out. Now, I'm not talking about sticking our heads in the sand and never listening to a word our congregations say. Hopefully we're wise enough to surround ourselves with a circle of mentors and counselors from whom we can receive even the most blunt yet truthful words (Prov. 12:15). Yet there is a reason God established you as a leader and gave you a vision for leading His people. That fact should by no means prompt a degree of pride in you, but rather continue to send you to your knees in humility. Leaders are best positioned when reaching up for divine help on a moment-by-moment basis. Fortunately, part of that help comes in the form of godly human counsel.
But that still doesn't answer the question of what to do with the cheapshots, er, "suggestions." Last week I heard Ed Young of Fellowship Church talk about this at his C3 conference. He was as honest and upfront as I've seen a pastor be in leading other pastors, but he spoke from more than 17 years of experience in handling every type of criticism. Today I read a great blog from Perry Noble of NewSpring Church that (somewhat) dealt with the same thing. Both guys echoed a similar sentiment: Just walk away. Your time is too precious to waste debating the critics. As long as you stay in the appropriate leadership posture—humbly, prayerfully leading in the assurance of God's mission for you and the people—then you can ignore the naysayers and doubters. Critics will naturally be those with the loudest, sharpest voices. Yet even when they challenge you personally, you'd be better off realizing that there are more important things to do than fight back.
YOUR TURN: How have you dealt with harsh criticism within your church? What lessons have you learned over the years on how to handle your critics? Should leaders pay more attention to these unsolicited "assessments"?
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Just experienced this about a month ago. One of my board members was suspended because of violations of church by-laws, but during our annual church meeting stood up and started getting people charged with emotions. Before the meeting people were saying how much they loved me as pastor, how great a pastor I am to them, after he pulled this they were saying I was cold hearted, heartless and mean. They wanted to throw the by-laws away and run me out of the church and as it was put just get back to loving people.
After people calmed down and looked at what he stated and saw how God helped me handle the situation. It ministered to people to see there is a Godly way to handle attacks. It is hard when you feel attacked, but to show how to handle situations in a right way, you have to let God handle your critics and those who come against you in ministry.
After people calmed down and looked at what he stated and saw how God helped me handle the situation. It ministered to people to see there is a Godly way to handle attacks. It is hard when you feel attacked, but to show how to handle situations in a right way, you have to let God handle your critics and those who come against you in ministry.
I was given a great piece of advice from the pastor that mentored me in ministry. He said if you get a note, immediately look to see if it is signed. If it isn't signed throw it away without reading it. No matter if the note is good or bad (and unsigned notes are almost always bad), you won't be able to do anything about it except stew. So don't put yourself through that. Throw it away. In my 18 years of pastoring, I have found this to be good advice.
These are great thought-provokers. Having grown up in a pastor's home, and now been a pastor myself for 30 years, enjoying a pretty good amount of favor and success as a local and denominational and community leade5r, I would only say this. Sometimes we as leaders are more intimidating and arrogant than we are aware. I ALWAYS receive criticism, wherever it comes from, signed or unsigned. There's always a possibility that my own attitude prevents people from being comfortable addressing me, because power DOES tend to corrupt, even in small ways. I always receive criticism with this prayer: Father, let me be open to learn and receive anything that is from you. Let me be kind and teachable, but courageous. Whatever I hear, whether praise or criticsm, whatever is false and not from you, may it be like water spilled on the ground--impossible to recall and retrieve. But if there is truth I need to hear and from which I should humbly grow, let me know what to courageously do with what I have received. This attitude has served me very well, and I have never been ashamed or uncomfortable around my critics, because they know as well as I do that they have been heard and respected.
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