Biblical Church has always been about relationships, but with most modern churches it is hard for relationships to happen. They are either too large for real relationships to happen, or don't allow people to be real and transparent with one another.

I like what Jim Davis has written about Christian fellowship:

Church attendance is often substituted for fellowship. To some fellowship is like a jar full of marbles. The marbles are in the same jar but there is little togetherness. The marbles have little effect on each other as they roll around in a jar. They just bump into one another. But real fellowship is more like a jar of grapes that bleed on one another. Fellowship should allow our faith to rub off on one another. The first believers had real spiritual needs that led them into fellowship with others. As they came into this fellowship of other believers with the same needs, they naturally bled on one another.

Too often church attendance turns us into iceberg Christians where we just float around and bump into one another. One fellow visited a church and gave his description of those in attendance. He said, "I don't want to say that it was a cold church, but the ushers had on ice skates." The first fellowship meeting had little to do with church attendance and everything to do with togetherness.
 

I agree with the statement: "Relationships are often the glue that keep people in church." But I'm afraid far too frequently we equate a "relationship with the church" (attendance and activity) to a real, lasting relationship with the Savior. THAT'S the only one we need to be concerned about. If people are truly born again, nothing can keep them away from gathering with the Body of Christ and corporately worshiping the One they love.

The problem is, we usually appeal to people only to join our gatherings (as one would join a club) and neglect to tell them why and how to be saved. According to numerous stats from Barna, et al., most church attenders are not Christians, so it's only natural that they stop attending. Regarding the idea that with friendship "you're likelier to keep them in church"--remember that God draws them, God saves them, and God keeps them. Not us. Let's stop worrying about trying to get their body in the building on Sunday, and focus on getting their soul in heaven for eternity. (The latter results in the former.)
 

There is a lot more intelligence in the responses than in the article! People know that church is broken, not just for the youth, but for the adults, too! Problems exist, but the "church" wants to use business marketing tools to make it grow. That is the main reason they are concerned about the youth right now because it is the "hot market." Like one responder said, they go for fellowship and find a club and Jesus almost does not matter, but is that real church? He has a personality too, you know! Or do you?
 

I agree. I LOVE the comments, and agree they are deeper than the article. I am a college minister and I for one have seen way toooooo many 18+ y/o leave because of some of the traditional ways of the church unwilling to go into the next millenum. Tradition and truthful bible teaching are so very different. Watering down the gospel to make people fell good seems to a growing trend. THAT is another subject for yet ANOTHER article. But the relationships I have with our students took YEARS to mold and create. Many youth or college ministers are around long enough in one place to have deep deep relationships and many students, in today's church have gotten burned by the youth guy leaving after a short tenure. I agree with you in saying that the church is "broken". The church is effective when we teach students to give ourselves away and be "Christlike" and be REAL with our students. Students today are the same as they were YEARS ago when I started. They are searching for something of worth and of lasting value. It's our responsibiity to POINT them to Christ.
God Bless,
tc
 

i agree that the relationship with Jesus is the only one to be concerned about. however to say that you couldnt keep a truly born again from church sounds like a blanket statement. it seems reasonable for an individual to be frustrated with so called fellowship with what is supposed to be the "family" when that person isnt having success making meaningful relationships. when one isnt allowed to be real and isnt gathering any real friends how is that situation any better than singing with your radio in you own car and making friends where you can be accepted.
 

Truth of the matter is that we live in a day and age where young people are getting "saved" out of attraction and not conviction.This in itself is a very dangerous means of embracing salvation because attraction dies and concepts and ideas needs to be revisted frequently.
We must come to a place of maturity and begin to attatch less value on external factors.
Brandon Bailey (South Africa)
 

This problem isn't limited to youth. I am 45 and attend a megachurch with +4,000 members. After four years at this church, I know lots of people there but have few relationships. The church is very focused on getting people into classes. But I don't need to sit next to people and stare ahead at a teacher. I need to sit across from people and get to know them. The singles ministry ends at age 30 -- I guess after that you're too old for marriage???? I am beginning to wonder if I'll be able to find some close friends at this church, let alone a boyfriend or husband. It doesn't look very hopeful.
 

I guess many youth and older adults, as well, would have been upset to have Christ as their youth pastor, cause He only stayed around for three years. We can't depend on others to be the ones to initiate all our relationships in and outside the church, if we are truly walking in love, and are truly born again, we will be the ones to initiate relationships, and will be where God has planted us to be. The lack of relationship could be the result of not seeking God before hooking up with a particular segment of the Body, instead we are seeking what makes us 'feel good' as Christians today. When we focus on what He wants and needs, then our own needs will be met. By the way, I am 55, with an unsaved husband, and I am very much a pArt of our local congregation.